I came across this TikTok the other day that beautifully explored the nuances between holding compassion and care for others as a personal value and flat out people-pleasing, and as someone who has historically struggled with people-pleasing and absolutely values compassion, I knew I wanted to sit with these ideas and explore them more deeply.

The TikTok is by @kaleidos_cope and can be watched right here:

For me, the biggest takeaway is that people-pleasing is marked by self-abandonment — the act of valuing other people’s needs and desires above your own, and it often comes with feelings of resentment, guilt, obligation, and frustration. 

It’s the mother perpetually saying “yes” to dates with her friends in her rare moments free time even though she’s dying for some quality time alone. 

It’s the artist selling their work for a fraction of what they’d need to cover their costs and living expenses because they don’t want to “put others out” by asking for “too much.” 

Compassion, on the other hand, always puts on its own oxygen mask first.

Compassion knows you can only truly be of love and service to others when you yourself are first cared for, and as such, compassion prioritizes the self first and foremost. Emotions felt and processed. Resources secured. Energy filled. Body grounded. 

And from that place of true overflow, compassion shows up and gives to others.

If we want to be prolific givers, we first must learn to be prolific receivers.

More on this and how it relates to the way I price my art (and encourage all artists to price their work!!) coming soon.

Let me know what resonates with you below!